“For a while she considered being ill, but she changed her mind.” – Tove Jansson
There is an expectation in the world of care-providers to never label someone by leading with their diagnosis. For example, you should never say “the autistic kid” but rather, “the child with autism.” We would never say my cancer friend or my Alzheimer’s grandparent. Out of respect for the person, we are taught to name the disability after, as to not make the illness own the patient. The term we use is person-first language.
So why then, if our medical providers (attempt to) treat us with respect, do we (as patients) so often label our own illnesses or disabilities ahead of ourselves? Why do we classify ourselves in terms of the diagnoses that so often bring us down?